T H E R A P Y   S E R V I C E S

Sex Therapy

& Intimacy Concerns

Let’s talk about sex.

A person’s sex life is a bit like a snowflake: no two are exactly the same, and there’s no “right” shape for it to take. That said, you know when it feels off, and that sense of unease can manifest in so many other aspects of your life. Your immune system, mental health, and even your blood pressure can all be affected by an unsatisfactory relationship to sex and intimacy, whether you’re single or partnered.

Who needs sex therapy?

Sex therapy is like a workout for your mind and spirit. Even the most sexually “in shape” person can benefit from sex therapy. But it’s especially important if you’re feeling unsatisfied or uncomfortable in your intimate relationships.

The state of your sex life can be an intimidating and uncomfortable thing to face. Let alone discuss with someone else! At Simple Modern, we pride ourselves on being a non-judgmental, shame-free zone. In addition, our sex therapists know that healthy, normal sexuality is a spectrum. And there are so many outside factors—things like purity culture, trauma, and religious shame—that can disrupt the delicate ecosystem that is our sexual health.

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Important bits

Why is the strength and health of our relationships with sex and intimacy so important? Sometimes, sexuality and emotional connection are two sides of the same coin. It’s no surprise that emotional intimacy issues with our partners can often prevent us from having success in the bedroom. For instance, there are many issues that can arise from an emotional disconnect, some of which may include:

•  Anorgasmia (or inability to climax)

•  Boring sex

•  Sexual shame

•  Sexual drought

•  Arousal issues

Life is full of disruptions and changes. It’s normal to feel the need to adjust your sex life accordingly (think of it like yearly maintenance!). Many couples face challenges adapting to sex after children. For instance, sex with a chronic illness, STI, or disability can be overwhelming. Not to mention, pain during sex, sex with changing hormones/aging, a low sex drive, or erectile disfunction. In other words, any disruption to your sexual health and satisfaction can cause disruptions to your mental health and happiness. Living with a less-than-satisfactory relationship with sex and intimacy can feel very lonely and alienating.

However, you are not alone.

Opening up to an experienced, caring professional is the first step toward building a healthier, happier relationship with sex and intimacy.

“We are all the same. We are all different. We are all normal.”

 

Emily Nagoski, Come As You Are

Exploring non-monogamy in sex therapy.

The decision to open up your relationship might feel like an easy solution. However, there are a lot of intricacies to a successful non-monogamous relationship. That being said, monogamy is not the ideal fit for everyone. And discussing the possibility of an open relationship with your partner for the first time can feel like a minefield riddled with missteps. Our therapists have the experience to guide you through that tricky territory. They are ready to help both you and your partner find a path forward.

Moreover, in those instances when the answer is non-monogamy, navigating the waters of restructuring an existing relationship can be extremely difficult. Discussing the realities of a non-monogamous partnership with a sex therapist is a great way to help you discover if opening your relationship is a good fit. You will be able to determine whether or not you’re ready to bring your partner into that discussion.

When the time comes, your therapist can also help you and your partner navigate some of the common emotional pitfalls that can come with the conversation that surrounds redesigning your relationship.

A sex therapist can help support you in a change of relationship. They can guide you through the maintenance of an existing alternative relationship design. Our therapists can talk you through exploring if non-monogamy is right for you and discuss alternative designs such as:

•   Opening

•   Swinging

•   Polyamory

•   Threesomes

•   Throuples

•   Ethical non-monogamy (ENM) or consensual non-monogamy (CNM)

•   Open marriage or open relationship

 

You deserve a happy, healthy sex life.

It isn’t selfish to want to be satisfied and comfortable in your sex life. Your sex life is about so much more than sex, intimacy doesn’t apply solely to your connections with others. Above all, your relationship with yourself is the most intimate of all.

In conclusion, being comfortable in that intimacy is the first step toward creating meaningful, fulfilling relationships with those around you. Most importantly, our therapists can help you get there.

Ready to talk? So are we.

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Kayla Adams
Sex & Intimacy Expert + CSW

If you’re wondering “will this get better?” you’re not alone. You are not bad for feeling afraid or disconnected. More importantly, you can feel better and be the parent, partner, and self that you want to be. Kayla would love to see you.

Make An Appointment

(801) 920-7112

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